Monday, November 26, 2012

My Marriage Gives Me the Freedom to be Selfish

Marriage and Relationships Monday

Because of Rob's very, very stable and lucrative job I have a very annoying freedom. I have the freedom to complain and whine because the safety net that covers our basic needs is always there. When I studied Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs I realized that my marriage to Rob satisfies the top three. My physiological needs (food & clothing), safety needs (shelter), and love/belonging needs (friendship, family, sexual intimacy). 

And while I am responsible for maintaining these relationships that feed these needs, they are essentially taken care of. So where does that leave me? It leaves me complaining. Dreaming, planning, scheming yes, but also lots of complaining.

"I'm not fulfilled and challenged at work."

"We should eat all organic, made-from-scratch meals every night."

"I should be ____________ (thinner or more fit or more flexible or kinder or whatever my current obsession is)."

When I was in my 20s and I had a job that met my basic needs I spent every waking hour searching for the love/belonging needs. I never worried about the environment or how much I weighed. I realize now that once I satisfied that need in my marriage with Rob I find myself floundering and feeling a bit adrift. What now? I'll keep you posted.


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