The Woman I Want to Be Tuesday
"They'll think I'm mean."
"That seems rude."
"I can't do that. What will they say?"
We've all heard these phrases from our friends, our
relatives, our selves. But why do we care? Truly, why? What happens if someone
thinks I'm rude? What happens if someone doesn't think my outfit matches?
(Because it usually doesn't.)
Very often this manifests itself as saying yes
too often. The best example I can think of is those Tupperware-style parties in
private homes. I know several women who go to these again and again and
purchase candles, jewelry, and kitchen items that they can ill afford and don't
want because it's rude not to. Huh? So you choose to hurt your
personal financial situation so that some friend won't be possibly offended?
Would you ask your friend to spend money on something she didn't want or need?
Of course not! No real friend (or acquaintance) would do that.
What about when that co-worker walks around with the tray of
store-bought cupcakes to celebrate the birth of her first granddaughter? She
insisted after I declined, so I took a napkin and a cupcake. I thanked her and
we chatted for a few moments. When she walked away I threw the untouched
cupcake in the trash. Another co-worker said I was rude. Was I? (And the answer
to your question is yes, if the cupcake had been homemade I would've indulged.)
So I suppose the real question is - do I (may I?) be honest
and kind to others while not compromising my budget, eating habits, or personal
beliefs? Why on earth would someone encourage me to put something into my mouth
or pull something out of my wallet that I don't care to? Would you say to a
vegetarian, "But you absolutely must try my pot roast! It's a family
recipe!" Or to someone allergic to peanuts, "But my brittle is the
very best! Can't you just have a bite and then take a Benadryl?"
Everyone repeat after me:
"No, thank you. I don't care to have a cupcake."
"No, thank you. I won't be able to attend your Lia
Sophia party."
"No, thank you."
"No. Thank you."
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