Marriage and Relationships Monday
Because of Rob's very, very stable and lucrative job I have
a very annoying freedom. I have the freedom to complain and whine because the
safety net that covers our basic needs is always there. When I studied Maslow's
Hierarchy of Needs I realized that my marriage to Rob satisfies the top three.
My physiological needs (food & clothing), safety needs (shelter), and
love/belonging needs (friendship, family, sexual intimacy).
And while I am responsible for maintaining these
relationships that feed these needs, they are essentially taken care of. So
where does that leave me? It leaves me complaining. Dreaming, planning,
scheming yes, but also lots of complaining.
"I'm not fulfilled and challenged at work."
"We should eat all organic, made-from-scratch meals
every night."
"I should be ____________ (thinner or more fit or more
flexible or kinder or whatever my current obsession is)."
When I was in my 20s and I had a job that met my basic needs
I spent every waking hour searching for the love/belonging needs.
I never worried about the environment or how much I weighed. I realize now that
once I satisfied that need in my marriage with Rob I find myself floundering
and feeling a bit adrift. What now? I'll keep you posted.
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